When advice isn’t enough
These days I’ve been moved to color.
I usually have to remind myself not to grip at the crayons too hard and let it flow.
Waking up early and squeezing a 15 minute coloring session, is something i would have never imagined myself doing..
It doesn’t feel performative.
It’s meditative and a way to be with me before demands of the day gets to me.
It’s not me questioning ~ “what will make me better?” / “Will this look good?” / “Will this fix something?”
It felt like me with myself and answering ~ “Can I sit with myself here?” ; “Can I let this be enough for now?”
I am no longer choosing my actions based on what outcome it would give me or if it is aligned to my current identity.
I am choosing them for relationship.
With the crayons. with my mornings. with myself .
And that changes everything.
I was myself surprised when it happened because earlier when i tried to fit it into my routine, it felt forced and confusing…
Influencers might share the aesthetic looking outcomes and life choices, but until it comes from a place within you ~ where you choose to do something because you feel called to
or
because life has naturally opened up a space in your life and asking you to wonder what would fit and bring you closer to yourself.
If you follow just the end advice, you can literally do everything they say and still feel like nothing fits.
Although I’m sure somewhere there is also an outside in approach which works for some people basis context and their nature.
Here, though, you have to ask yourself what is it that you need and what truly makes you happy and then go from there..
You can then try multiple things and see what works for you and what doesn’t.
But the context of you and your life is important.
It’s tough because that does require you taking time to know yourself, beyond the facade, beyond the conditioning, beyond the gripped identity and that is some real work.
That requires turning inwards and being honest to yourself, unflinchingly honest.
As easy as it feels, to imitate or follow blind advice.. you can go in loop for years before you realise that the main variable you weren’t taking into account, was always ‘YOU’.
And Without ‘you’, nothing works.
You showed me a good time with this piece of yours, Meera-chan, with the shift from what will fix something to choosing for relationship~ Especially with the crayons and the mornings and yourself~
The crayons stop being an “optimization” and become a meeting place with yourself.
That question, “Can I let this be enough for now?” feels like the real pivot. It replaces striving with presence, and in that space, the missing variable was never the method, but you.